Bringing jokes
Why did Peter bring toilet roll to the party? Because he was a party pooper!
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Why do people use terms like "sucky" to mean that they don't like something?
If something "sucks," shouldn't that signify that it is at least good for one thing and will bring pleasure?
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
Okay, the joke's over. Bring back Trump!
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary on stage?
To DEFINE his rap game!
Why did the rapper bring a comb to the concert?
Because he wanted to STYLE his FLOW.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.