Bringing jokes
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
A young orphan boy goes to school for the first time. A bigger boy comes and punches him. He says, "What are you gonna do, cry to your mommy?" The boy cries.
Next morning, he wakes up and comes to school. The same thing happens, but the older boy brings his friends. This time, after he says, "You gonna tell your mom?", the little boy says, "Yes, I will tell them that there is company coming over."
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying, "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs.
"For the last time, Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!"
The man with glasses frowns.
"Where did all the others go, then?"
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the bars were high.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
My kids [are] so damn bad[.] We took them to Disney in Florida. They paid me not to bring them back ever.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the concert?
Because he wanted to reach new heights in his performance.
Why did the rapper bring a pencil to the concert?
In case he needed to drop some FRESH LINES.
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.
There's going to be a party at the orphanage tonight. I'm bringing a gun.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.
Why did the rapper bring a shovel to the concert?
Because he was about to BURY the COMPETITION!
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
That doesn't matter, we need to get the best joker to go back to posting here, he was funny but now people say they are him and ruin his good name, he was the top of the charts for over a year, so screw all these chumps! Bring back THE REAL SPECIAL!!!
Also, the chicken dies in the end, ha ha, funny, whatever.