Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Bringing Memes

DaRey1Cray

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

Sbeebs141

The image shows a two-panel meme with a text overlay saying, "When the teacher asks to bring a pet and the bullied kid brings a Desert Eagle". Below are two identical images of a cartoon monkey with wide eyes and a surprised expression.

Chri5

Hm, free food

The image shows a Chinese restaurant sign that offers discounts for bringing a girlfriend or wife and a free meal for bringing both. Below, there's an image of Wario looking upset with the text "I've won...but at what cost?"

MEME LORD

A woman wearing a hijab sits on a train. In front of her is a shopping bag with the words "Bringing home the BACON" printed on it. Above the image the text says, "I don't think she is".

Adolf kitler

An orange cat is sitting on the floor in front of a tea bag. The text on the image says: "Some cats bring their humans birds and mice... Oliver brings me tea bags."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, two figures are depicted. One on the left with a turban states three rules: "no wishing for death", "no falling in love", and "no bring back dead people." In the second panel, the same turbaned figure states, "There are 4 rules" while the other figure says, "I want my rifle to moan when I load a new mag."

GG Miller

I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

KatsukiBakugouSimp

relations-

The image shows a side-by-side comparison of two different portraits of the same anime character, Toya. On the left, he is smiling with bright red hair and a friendly expression. On the right, he has black hair, a scarred face, and a more menacing look. Above the two portraits, the text says: "Toya went from, 'I bring her home by 8:00 sir!' To 'Your daughter calls me daddy too.'"

DIANEE

A picture shows a lizard with its mouth open next to a little girl in a yellow jacket who looks to the right with a surprised expression on her face. The text reads: "How I feel when I bring home hornworms."

Willy b

A meme with text on top that reads, "SATAN: SO WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE? ME: "I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents." Underneath the text is an image of a black cat with wide eyes.

Heroin Monkey

A young person is sitting on a bench, looking at their phone. Below the image is text that asks "IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT their diarrhea?" followed by a list of funny definitions for common texting abbreviations. For example, "brb = bathroom bonanza", "lol = lots of liquid", and "smh = so many hemorrhoids".

Adolf kitler

The image consists of four quadrants. The top left shows a ginger cat sitting on a chair with paws tucked in. The text in the top right says "using the normal drake format". The bottom left is another photo of the same cat in a similar pose. The bottom right says "using some photos of my cat because he's cute and I want to bring attention to how he sits on his paws weird."

TechPriestGotDrip

The image shows a text that reads: "Me: starts my project the night before it's due. The end result: How cloning Nelson Mandela could bring back Bionicles." Below the text, there is an image of Nelson Mandela and a Bionicle figure.

Smãll Kîng Dãvîd

True love 😂

A cartoon image shows a man and a woman standing outside a building. The man is asking the woman, "Esther, how do you want me to prove to you that there is nothing between Lucy and me?" The woman responds, "Go bring me her head!"

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot of a YouTube video by Vsauce. The video title is 'I attempt to revive Hitler using my mind'. Below it, there is a text: 'The entire population of China'. On the right side, there are more suggested videos with titles like 'Doing drugs for science', 'I'm addicted to gambling', 'My left testicle', 'No Man's Sky part 1', and 'I haven't brushed my teeth in 3 years'.

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

Heroin Monkey

A picture shows a chart advertising crystals for negativity, but someone edited the picture, adding a pile of meth in the middle and the word "meth" at the bottom.

Heroin Monkey

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Heroin Monkey

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

♡𝓅𝒶𝓁

A man sits alone on a swing set in a park. Text at the top reads "Drake bringing Adonis to the park to have an excuse to watch the other kids playing on the jungle gym:".

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