Bringing jokes
If someone told me to bring up 9/11, they were trying to make a funny joke, but it didn't work.
That one really *crashed and burned*.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
Why? You ask.
Because it only takes one charge to bring it back to life.
"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
Why do orphans like cows?
Because when they leave, they bring back the milk.
What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈
Why did the astronaut bring the seeds to space?
Because he wants to planet the seed! 🤣🤣🤣
Dad: Son, do you want to play Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots?
Son: Sure, let me get it from the closet.
Dad: No, bring your sisters. Just like the game, they can’t move their legs.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."