Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
If Canada had to apologise for Bryan Adams on several occasions, it's only fair that Americans are tortured and waterboarded for bringing Katy Perry and Carrie Underwood to the world!
Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?
Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. đđ
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he wanted to drop higher bars!
Why is it so cheap to throw a party at a haunted house? Because the ghosts bring all the boos.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, âWhat are you doing in my house?â
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
John pretended to be a doctor.
Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."
John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"
Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."
John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"
Motu said, "I lost my memory."
John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
What's the difference between a parachute and a coffin?
One brings you safely to the ground, and the other is a last resort when you've already hit it.
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the concert?
Because he wanted to spit BARS on time.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the recording studio?
Because he heard they were dropping TRACKS.
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
Why did the rapper bring a comb to the concert?
Because he wanted to STYLE his FLOW.
Why did the rapper bring a vacuum to the concert?
So the haters could SUCK on him!
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Me: Brings in missing child.
Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.
Me: Oh, cool.
NEXT DAY
Me: Brings in 8 other kids.
Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.