Breakfast jokes
In the morning, I become a cereal killer.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Yo momma's titty milk taste like Captain Crunch.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.
What do you call a gay guy eating Cheerios?
Fruit Loops.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...