Breakfast jokes

The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.

(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.

Amber Heard's Morning Routine

Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.

Hey guys, the prank for today is when I lied about feeling sick so I wouldn't have to go to school.

Introduction: This prank was committed a week ago! Around 5:00 a.m. in the morning!

1. I got out some eggs, milk, salt, and a little bit of mashed olives... well those are the main ingredients.

2. I mixed it all up for about 2 mins just to make it look really like barf...no going to school today!

3. I put it under the sofa just to give it some solid scent to it.

4. I fixed my breakfast eggs and bacon. Then when my mom comes down I...PULL OUT MY FAKE BARF!!!!! News flash make a fake excuse for her to leave! My excuse is "I need something its in my room I don't want to get cause it would waste time".

She fell for it. Then I pull out my FAKE barf which looks like real barf. Then you say or I said "Mom I don't feel so good"! News flash: Don't over sell it think about all that boring school work! and guess what she fell for it so I spend all day doing nothing...absolutely nothing!

Well that's the prank. Anymore pranks you want ask me in the comment section! Byeeeeeeeeeee

What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?

Korn Flakes.

I wrote a few jokes:

What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

Making a comforting breakfast.

But you have a knife.

Why did the cow have for breakfast?

Answer: Muesli.

Why can't two eggs tell jokes?

Because they will crack each other up!

I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.

What is an egg joke?

Egg-xcellent question!

Cereal is like... breakfast soup made out of corn flakes.

Ketchup is like... a smoothie because of the tomato.

Coffee is like... a bean drink energizer.

My life is like... the shoe rack-

I always loved going to Bill Cosby's house; he always greeted me when I woke up with "Rapey-rapey, eggs and bakey."

What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?

Breakfast in bed!

Did you try the digital egg padlock? Because it is very easy to crack the code.

I asked my dad to come to my Father’s Day breakfast.

The orphanage worker just said, “Don’t be silly!”

What did the kid with Parkinson's drink for breakfast?

Milkshake.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Good morning.