Bread jokes

My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest with a rabid wolf.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

What do you call a stuck Panera Bread?

Panera Wedged.

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

What did the bread photographer say to the toast? Say, "Toasted cheese!"

Banana bread is cute.

What kind of Panera Bread do pencils use?

Panera Lead.

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?

Panera Behead.

What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?

Panera Med.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister asked me if I wanted some. I said no. Then my sister asked my friend, and he always said no.

Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor. We have no ketchup, mustard, or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor. My sister said, "Okay."

My sister left the kitchen to get something. I asked my friend what are you going to do. Then he took the hotdog bread, opened it, and ran his penis all around it, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread. Then my sister came back and put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready. She ate them. I asked how were the hotdogs. My sister said, "I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty."

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.

Why?

The ducks keep trying to eat him.

Why would they do that?

Because he’s pure-bread.

I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.

What do you call a boy Panera Bread?

Panera Balls.

Bread?