Bread jokes
What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?
Panera Shed.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Memes
I can’t take my dog to the park anymore.
Why?
The ducks keep trying to eat him.
Why would they do that?
Because he’s pure-bread.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
Suck all the bread!
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.
Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.