Bread jokes

I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.

What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?

Panera Shed.

Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

How do people eat bread?

What do royals and hot dogs have in common?

They're usually in bread.

Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?

They don’t fancy bread!

What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?

They become in-bread.

Suck all the bread!

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.

What do you call a living Panera Bread?

Panera Breath.

Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.

Bread is like an orphan: plain and stale and no fam.

The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!

Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."