Bread jokes
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
What do you call a rapper who works in the bakery?
DOUGH-KNIGHT
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
Come, my children, to the bread cult!
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
How do you tell if a loaf of bread has Down Syndrome?
It has an extra crumb-osome.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Panera Bread.
Why did the Twin Towers go shopping?
To get some plane bread.