Brain Jokes

Monkey:What ya doing Other monkey:Just you know "Hanging around"

Bad joke right i just can't think of something amazing it's like my brain is "Hanging"

A brain eats cheddar cheese

doctor: I will deliver the baby right away Dad: I would the baby to have a liver

Question: Whats the smallest thing on earth?

Answer: Your brain

Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.

Free will is like having a vagina you don't need to know how to use it and you don't need to know what it does but what matters is that you have it.

I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind

My boyfriend entered a retarded contest but they said no Bc they don’t alow perfectionist

Why did Steven halkings die.....

A quad rasher ran him over

When they where going around giving out brains and U thought they where saying train so u said no thanx I’ll take the next one 🤣🤣

Putins Brain:

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If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.

If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.

I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...

If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.

I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.

If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.

I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.

If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.

I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.

My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.

I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.

I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.

I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.

I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.

I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.

My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety

Help me....

im autisisc

i like tacos more than you like tacos who likes more tacos?

mee! said the taco

Hi guys, I have a brain teaser for you! Leave it in the comment section if you figure it out. Here you go! If you kill yourself (suicide which is technically murder) will you go to Heaven or Hell? Because you murdered yourself, but what if you were a Christian? That was my brain teaser for you guys! make sure you leave what you came up with for the answer in the comment section below!! PEACE OUT!!!! :)

Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said potato

my friends life

A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)