Brain jokes
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Hrhfgsfabcke then the other guy said, "Potato."
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
Your forehead is so big, Mastermind got jealous.
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
What do emo kids and Hitler have in common?
There's gonna be more brains on the wall when they lose something.
1+1 answer 2 said all the kids, but 1 kid said 5. Then I said your mom feels embarrassed because everyday you look into the mirror, you see how empty your brain is.
Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time, just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.
Best, Gwen