Brain jokes
Question: What's the smallest thing on earth?
Answer: Your brain.
My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.
A long-haired child once took a bite of Chuck Norris's brain. He later became known as Albert Einstein.
I had an Alzheimer's joke, but something's fogging up my mind.
In light of Trump's slurring, staggering, and incoherence, I wondered if he should get checked for a brain tumor.
Then I realized how ridiculous that sounded.
A tumor can't grow in something that doesn't exist in the first place.
Free will is like having a vagina. You don't need to know how to use it, and you don't need to know what it does, but what matters is that you have it.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
What was the last thing going through the 9/11 victims' minds?
They don't say "shit for brains" for nothing. 🤣🤣
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.
Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.
Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?
Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!
Why did my brother cross the road?
Because he was looking for his brain.
When they were going around giving out brains and you thought they were saying "train," so you said, "No thanks, I’ll take the next one!" 🤣
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!