A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "no you'd never bring it back!"
What is Hitlers favorite book. Hitler and the chamber of secrets
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down
What does B.I.B.L.E. Bull Shit In Book Lacking Evidence Does it cycle now?
How did Hellen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball as told her to “read this book”.
All those people claiming Donald Trump is like Hitler need a reality check. After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."
What did the math book say to the other math book?
Wanna hear my problems?
I read a book on anti-gravity... It was impossible to put down.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down and gets the information he wants.
Why does a married heterosexual man want a anonymous blowjob at a glory hole inside a adult book store? because he doesn't want his wife to find out that he got a blowjob from another man
What does the initials bible stand for? Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
Why do vegetarians give a anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at a adult book store because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
My cock was in the book of world records... The librarian told me to take it out
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!