Book jokes
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Make him read a book.
Yo mama so strict that when Ponyboy told her that Darry hit him, she called the cops on Darry.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
My favorite book is "Brown Spots on the Ceiling" by Ho Fung Poo.
"Tj and Prince, I really think we should stop doing this date night, date fight thing on this website because it's driving everyone crazy, and this is a joke website, not a dating website, so I say let's just take this to Facebook."
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
Damn, didn't know this site was about Harry Pot-
At the library, I got in trouble for putting a cooking book in the women's section.
Your Mom's Favorite Book, Chapter 1: How To Cook.
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Last week was my blind friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need.
As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grater for a birthday present, he sets it next to him. As weeks pass, he comes up to me. He said, "That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I have ever read!"
A man walks into a library.
Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"
Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"
Suicidal Man: ...
Librarian: ...
The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.