Book jokes

Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?

Johnny was deaf.

Book on Michael Jackson: Issued black; returned white.

Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?

It's called "One More Thyme."

I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.

Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?

A: The ins and outs of child rearing.

What do you say to a fat Asian?

You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.

I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.

I was reading a book about an immortal cat the other day; it was impossible to put down.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"

Girl: "Dude, this is a library."

Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)

Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.

Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.

Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."

What's the difference between a child and a book?

One doesn't scream when you snap its neck.

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.

What is Africa's most famous sport?

The Hunger Games.

About the guy who gave Stevie Wonder a cheese grater...

He thought it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?

You can shut the book up.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.