Bomb jokes

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

Two Indians talk over a long distance using smoke signals.

In the middle of the conversation, a nuclear bomb explodes behind one of them, and a huge cloud of smoke rises silently into the sky.

The other Indian signals with smoke: "Not so loud!"

What is the similarity of a bomb and a baby?

When you drop them both, everyone screams.

When was the biggest BBQ in history? Hiroshima, August 6, 1945.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

What kind of bath bomb does an emo person use?

A toaster.

What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"

"You da bomb!" "No, you da bomb!"

In the US, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.

what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?

"Here Comes the Sun."

What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?

A bath bomb.

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

Famous last words of my uncle, (a bomb disposal expert): "yes, the red wire."

What makes a nuke and divorce the same?

It only takes one of each to end your life.

Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.

I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

My Japanese friend told me a Pearl Harbor joke. I told him he bombed it.

Bomb.