Body jokes
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Mijn penis is lang lmao.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
I farted.
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
What is a skeleton's favorite food?
Ribs.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.