Body jokes
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
My anus smells.
Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Pretty nuts!
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
What did Steven Harkens have to eat?
His shoulders.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Mijn penis is lang lmao.
Why do cheetahs have spots outside of their bodies?
Because they don't have them on the inside.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
I farted.
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.