Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?"
Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
I tried having a three-way with two physicists, but they couldn't solve the three body problem
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
How do skeletons have sex?
They bone each other.
What is the second hardest thing in the morning?
Getting up.
