Body jokes
I was raped everyday for years. I can still smile. I hold the record for the widest asshole.
The school shooter: "I finally found you worthless crybabies!!"
The Quiet Kid: "How are a bag of chips and a mac11 the same?"
The school shooter: "I don't know."
The Quiet kid: "When you pull them out everybody wants to be your friend."
I dumped the dead, disabled person's body into a dumpster full of rats.
Do you like Imagine Dragons?
Imagine draggin' my balls on your face.
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
What is a skeleton's favorite food?
Ribs.
Kid me: I lost my stick.
Teacher: No, you didn’t.
Kid me: How do you know that?
Teacher: It’s hanging out of your pants.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
Did you know you don't actually wash your hands?
They wash each other while you stand there looking at them like a creep.
You know stairs, right? The dark... My there is something. I know that if you fall down the stairs, your balls will be crushed!
Like if you have a dick, or you are an orphan.
What did the shoe tell the feet?
"Put me on your feet!"
Your momma is so fat, when she got in the Pacific, she became the Pacific Ocean.
Your mama's so ugly, she got everything for free.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
I kicked my leg into my dad's balls in 1999.
You have thin feet that people think you were a duck.
Every time a midget runs on the grass, the grass tickles their balls.
Your mini pecker is so small, the taxi driver said the ride was so short that he'd do it for free.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.