Body jokes
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
Beethoven composed his whole life.
What did he do in the afterlife? He decomposed! Har har har har har har.
When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
You're so skinny that you fall.
Your forehead got a restraining order from your hairline.
I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.
Daddy, where's my anus?
Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.
Do you like In-N-Out?
Yes, why? In and out of your mouth.
Yo mama so fat, Dora can't explore her.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped, I didn’t laugh, but the floor cracked up.
Why do people never kick their own balls?
Because they might lose one!
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
"You need to cease, all those fat cuz u obese."
Why did the first boob say to the 2nd boob: "Between us, I have to take a tit."
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!