Body jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Little Johnny is with his dad behind a garbage truck when a dildo thumps the windshield.
To protect Little Johnny's innocence, he says, "That was an insect."
Little Johnny replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"
The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."
An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."
"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."
A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."
"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."
If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?
A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."
"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
Did you hear about the guy whose left side was cut off? He's all right now.
Your mom is so fat that she cannot look at her feet when taking a shower.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
Your mom is so fat that she works as a hydraulic press in a car factory!
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
Yo mama so fat that when she was in Uranus, she picked her butthole.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.