Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Why couldnβt the house see?
The blinds were down
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
Whatβs the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?
They both can't see their parents.
I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!
What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?
They both cannot see their family.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
I wish I was blind.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.
