Blind jokes

Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.

Why is the German blind?

Because he's a "not see."

Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.

How can you surprise someone who is blind?

Leave a plunger in the toilet.

I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."

Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.

Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?

A: Musical chairs.

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

Why couldn’t the house see?

The blinds were down.

You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.

I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

What do a blind person and an orphan have in common?

They both cannot see their family.

What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?

None. Neither can see their parents.

The doctor told me I'm color blind...

Me: That's out of the purple!