Blind jokes
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
Q: What was Hellen Keller's favorite game as a kid?
A: Musical chairs.
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
Why couldn’t the house see?
The blinds were down.
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck her in a round room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
The doctor told me I'm color blind...
Me: That's out of the purple!