Blind

Blind jokes

Friend

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

Tooth

A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.

I don't have any now.

Orphan

How are orphans and blind kids similar?

They both have never seen their parents :)

Comeback

An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.

The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"

The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."

Wheelchair

A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."

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  • Sally

    Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.

    Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.

    Gun

    Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.