Blind jokes
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
Memes
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
Why can’t the blind man find love?
It’s called love at first sight.
Once there was a girl named Sally! She had no arms or legs, was mute, deaf, and blind.
Knock knock Who’s there? Not Sally.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Michael Jackson so white, I turned blind.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.