Blind jokes
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.
How are orphans and blind kids similar?
They both have never seen their parents :)
Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.
A blind man had an argument with a man in a wheelchair. The man in a wheelchair made fun of him saying, "look, there's a spider." The blind man simply said, "Step on it."
An ugly, arrogant woman walked into a store with her 2 kids, yelling at them.
The store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children, are they twins?"
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no they are not, one is 9 and the other is 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just bloody stupid?"
The clerk replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would screw you twice."
How to kill a blind person.
Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
I gave a blind kid a gun, telling him it was a hair drier.
What did the blind man say on Christmas?
"I can feel your presents!"
After work, I volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
How does Hellen Keller drive?
With one hand on the wheel and the other on the road.
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
When you ask the cashiers for the specials menu, and they bring out the autistic kid, blind kid, and Down syndrome kid.