Blind jokes
What do blind people take for granted? Sight.
Three disabled guys (a blind man, an amputee, and a guy in a wheelchair) are flying back with the USA team from the Paralympic games in the Middle East when their plane crashes in the Sahara Desert. The three disabled guys (the only survivors) are now stranded and wait for someone to rescue them, but no one showed. They start to get real thirsty, so they decide to seek out water. The amputee leads the way, with the blind man pushing the guy in the wheelchair; and, eventually they find an oasis. The amputee leader goes into the water first, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he has a NEW LEG! He gets excited and encourages his friends to do the same.
The blind man offers to push the guy in the wheelchair, but he gets refused because the guy in the chair wants to be Mr. Independent and insists the blind man goes ahead first. So he goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, walks out the other side and lo and behold, he can SEE! Now the guy in the wheelchair's getting really excited, starts pushing with all his might, goes into the water, cools himself down, drinks a load of water, and wheels out the other side. Lo and behold, NEW TIRES!!!
You walk inside a building, then you see a blind German, then you call him his name.
Answer: Nazi.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
I am reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!
“I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body” = you’re a weak man who was blindly brainwashed into being a woke joke.
I gave a blind man a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet... What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
"Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?" I see a blind man looking at me.
"Blind man, blind man, what do you see?"
Oh sorry, I forgot you can't see.
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Today, I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer. The police thought it was suicide since I have no fingerprints. Wow, I’m so nice taking care of the disabled.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
What do you call a blind person driving a car?
Died.
Why did the kid who was blind, in jail, need light to see? He didn't, he needed to braille his way out.
How do you make a blind girl smile? Leave the plunger in the toilet.