Blind jokes
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
With a taste test.
Why did the blind woman get raped?
Because she didn't know she was wearing see-through clothes.
OK, OK, eat your shirt.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
In my free time, I like to help blind people.
Verb, not adjective.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the bone go on a blind date? He was bonely.
Why are there blind people? Because there is.
A blind comedian walks into a room, or did he? Dun, dun, dun!
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?