How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What did the blind man say the first time he touched sandpaper?
“What in the world did I just read?”
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What’s the difference between orphans and blind children?
None. Neither can see their parents.
The bands Def Leppard and Blind Melon did a collaboration.
They called the song “Helen Keller.”
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
How do you blind an Asian? Put a windshield in front of them.
A dad tells his son, "Stop masturbating! If you do it too long, you will go blind."
The son replied, "Dad, I'm over here!"
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
I saw two blind men fighting at the mall. I yelled, "He has a gun!" They both ran.
A blind kid accidentally touches the emo kid's wrist and says, "I'm not reading all of that!"
Son: Daddy, what's dark humor? Dad: See that man over there with no arms or legs? Go tell him to stand up and clap. Son: But Daddy, I'm blind. Dad: Exactly.
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Why are blind people bad at catching things? Because they never see it coming.
what is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?
NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!
The Yo Mama song to end all yo mama jokes.
If you know what song this is parodying, you get a cookie.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo mama so fat, she gotta bathe in Sea World.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to get the joke.
Your own motheeer makes me giggle.
Her struggling to do taaaasks, see her belly wiggle.
HEY!
Yo mama so fat she on both sides o’the family.
Yo mama so inbred her own fam’ly tree
Looks like a spider web an’ yo mama so hairy
I thought it was King Kong I saw, that bitch is scary.
Yo mama so dumb a kid said “gimme a fag”
And in response she kidnapped Ricardo in a giant bag.
Yo mama so blind, she drove through puppies in a blunder
I swear I almost thought the driver was Stevie Wonder.
Yo mama so old, she’s nostalgic for the big bang.
Drier than Sahara, that crusty old thang.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
Yo Mama so fat her picture still printing out.
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhhh, YO MAMA!
Oh woo ohhh, YO MAMA!
Yo mama so ugly I thought you had two dads.
MMMMMMM
ahhhhhh
ohhhohoh
Your own motheeer, your own motheeeeer’s pussy is tight.
It’s not too dryyy or weeet it’s just right.
Hey Mama!
I fucked her so hard, the bitch done passed out
but not before I creamed all over her and shout
“I’M FUCKING THESE MOMS ALL THE WAY TO HEAVEN!
Don’t care if she’s 20 or 77!
I’m doing all the moms all over the worl’
Even if they weren’t ‘riginally born a girl.
A pussy’s a pussy no matter who its from
Don’t care if that woman is smart or dumb!”
That’s the truth there, baby! Even if
yo mama too stupid to tell apart her own kid
or if she’s so fugly, she’s the reason why
Helen Keller, poor soul, went deaf and blind.
I want to fuck every MILF on Earth
it don’t matter how much her ass is worth
or if she’s so poor, coal on Christmas is a treasure
Would I fuck her anyway? It would be my pleasure.
My body count so high can’t nobody top me
She said, “I’ll call you Freddie Mercury cause I want you to rock me.”
I said, “aiight bet! Can’t nobody stop me!”
Well, it’s a oooh, yo mama.
Ohhh, Yo Mama.
oh wop oh wop...YO MAMA!
But yo mama still so poor Africans donate to her!
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
