Blind Jokes

Paralyzed Man: *gets up* I’m out of here!

Blind Man: Did that paralyzed man just get up?

Deaf Man: Did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up?

Mute Man: Did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Dead Man: Did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

“Normal” Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say did that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up?

Doctor: *calls 911*

911 service: 911 what’s your emergency?

Doctor: Yes, uh, a “normal” person just said that did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up?

911 service: *hangs up*

Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.

What is one thing blind people and orphans have in common?

They both can't see their parents.

What did the parents rearrange the furniture to punish a child?

Guess he was a stupid blind motherfucker 🖕 that didn't even know how to use a cane to figure out where they put the furniture.

Give a blind kid a gun and tell him it's a hair dryer.

She asked:

"How can you explain a yellow color to a blind man?"

Why is the blind kid popular?

He can't see the middle fingers.

What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?

Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.

What does a blind man and a PS4 have in common?

They both need to make sounds to be recognized.

Why is the blind man so close to the door?

He can't see it

Why did the blind man cross the road?

Don't ask me, he can't even see where he's going.

Guys, stop making jokes about blind people, they might s... never mind, continue.

I remember waving at this guy in the street. The a**hole didn't wave back... Come to think of it, he was also swinging around a weird stick.

A blind man handed me a piece of paper. It said, "⠊⠋ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠉⠁⠝ ⠞⠗⠁⠝⠎⠇⠁⠞⠑ ⠞⠓⠊⠎ ⠽⠕⠥ ⠁⠗⠑ ⠛⠁⠽."

I have no idea how he knew.

Q: How do you blind a woman?

A: You put a windshield in front of her.

Why did the blind man get killed? Because he never saw it coming.

What did the blind kid get for his birthday?

I don't know, he still didn't look.

Who is the blindest person in the world?

Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.

A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.

I think she was pulling my leg.