Bitch

Bitch jokes

Job

Neona: Gwen! I got the job!!!!!!!!!

Gwen: I knew it! I knew my prayer worked!

Neona: He said that all my ideas are the best and that I start on Monday!

Gwen: Man, don't you love Mr. Jaekson? He is the best person the company has ever had!

Neona: Who is Mr. Jaekson?

Gwen: Wait... Mr. Jaekson didn't interview you?

Neona: No! Mr. Smith did. He said he was standing.

Gwen: No, Mr. Smith, you are a fool who never lets you spread the word or do anything. I can also mention that he is a person who has sexual problems!

Neona: Gwen, you are a liar!

Gwen: No, I'm not. I'm telling the truth, Neona!

Neona: Gwen, please be happy that I got the job without you lying that Mr. Smith sexual assaults women!!!

Gwen: He does, you're not listening.

Neona: I don't care, BITCH!!!!

Ass

"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"

Stereotype

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts ๐Ÿ‘–

Skeleton

Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?

'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.

Girl

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Mitosis

What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!

Puck

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

God

Iโ€™m a god, and Iโ€™m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

Orphan

Why does an orphan love baseball? Because their ball comes back, get pranked, bitch!

China

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ฬs propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

Sex

Why do people have sex?

Because they like going "Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuck me, bitch, I love you!"

Girl

This girl called me cute, and I told her donโ€™t call me that. She says why, I told her, โ€œBitch, call me the Hokage!โ€

Boyfriend

Awww, Gwen thinks she has a boyfriend! Oh wait, no you don't! She is just some loser ass bitch who could be a ho, you don't know. He was mine, and I want him back!

Eyebrow

Bitch: Nice eyebrows.

Me: Yeah, where's yours, motherfucker?

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thought it would look cool)

Cat

POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."

Mirror

Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.

Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?