Bitch jokes

Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

I only have sex with suicidal bitches because that pussy [is] limited edition.

Why do feminists eat so much pussy?

To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.

Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams "bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied "aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is "dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he know, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling "fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!!" Oh.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

Little Johnny's dad was drunk and told him to grow up, and he said, "STFU, you need to be young, you big-ass bitch!"

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

What happens when premenstrual Raggedy Ann gets with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Life's a bitch, and then you die. I now see what they mean.

Anyone else know that Hitler had only one testicle?

Maybe that's why he killed himself. Bro could never get any bitches!

Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?

Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!

Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.

Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!

Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!

Jarod (🤨): Or not?

Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!

Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!

I was driving when I saw a kid chasing after a ball, but I didn’t have enough time to slow down. Then I pulled over, and the dad yelled, "What the fuck did you do?" I looked into the street and saw the ball completely deflated and the kid crying, "Now I gotta hear him bitch and moan all day," he continues.

Trevor is a bitch.

What kind of experience does a feminist have?

Being a bitch.

What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.

Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mail man.

Mailman who?

Bitch, do you want your mail?

My girlfriend left me for spending my own money. I buy this bitch thousands upon thousands of dollars worth of stuff, but I spend 100 dollars on a prostitute, she leaves me.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant suits.

I got a roommate. He killed a butterfly, and I said no butter for a week. The next day, he killed a cockroach. Son of a bitch, nice try.