New Bitch Jokes

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Roses are red I love hot food if I was a bad bitch I'd wanna fuck me too

oh wait I am.

WATS UP BITCHES MISS ME

Know your ABCs! Assholes, bitches, and cocaine!

What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles ' N Bits!!

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him bitches always come and go. He’ll looked to me kinda mad kinda confused and said that’s my mom dude

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch? You don’t need consent

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

I’m breaking up with you, bitch.

What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club? Dirty bitch, you are

What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party. A bitch sleeps with everyone at the party—except you.

A woman is slightly drunk, watching a video, when she yells at the screen, "Don't go into that church you dumb bitch!"

Her husband asks, "What are you watching?"

"Our wedding video."

A girl goes to a Church to confess.

Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."

Priest: "What have you done my child?"

Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."

Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"

Girl: "Because he touched my hand."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he touched my breast."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: "Yes father."

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."

Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"

(after a few minutes)

Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."

Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"

Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Assalum Alayum Bitches

I don’t get why Katniss was bitching so much in ‘The Hunger Games’ books. Ethiopia has been competing for years and I don’t hear any of them complaining.

Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!

On Paxomedy channel I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting. I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dag down the issue it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch and that was the beginning of their fight and wierd enough the Cock won! I went to congratulate the winner but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldnt have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!

Bitches be like "you're racist." You're right, and I'm gonna win.

Yes, sir.

Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.

I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.

Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.

There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.

Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.

Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.

Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.