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Bitch

Bitch jokes

A black dude hits up a trap house for some crack and Hennessy, flashing his grill and boasting 'bout his gangsta life. The dealer snarls, "Pay up, fool. Or face the pipe!" He shrugs, "I'm broke, n***a." Suddenly, the dealer's ripped enforcer yanks him down, cuffs his hands with zip ties, shoves a vibrating dildo gag down his throat, slaps his ass red with a spiked paddle, then rams his throbbing monster cock into that tight hole, pounding savagely while choking him with a chain collar, flooding his guts with hot cum as he moans, "That's your high, bitch. Addicted yet?"

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    • A black dude shows up to a job interview for a watermelon farmhand gig, resume full of fried chicken joint experience. The boss asks, "Why should I hire you?" He stutters, "Uh, I got skills in... uh..." Before he can finish, a hulk-like, veiny, muscular, giant transgender man storms in, straps him to the interview desk with velvet cuffs, drips hot wax on his back from a candle shaped like a massive dick, and rams his ass relentlessly while whispering, "Welcome to the team, bitch. Your probation starts now."

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    • Feminist

    What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?

    "Nice tits, bitch."

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    • Catholic

    So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

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    • So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

    So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!'

    I thought, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

    Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

    Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

    Mom: Well, it’s my house.

    Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

    Mom: Go to school!

    At school:

    Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

    Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

    Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

    This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

    I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

    I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

    She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

    To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

    What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?

    Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!

    About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."