I used to be a man trapped in a woman’s body. But then I was born.
You are so ugly when you gave birth to your baby you gave it carpet burn
Y is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations
There were 1 mom and 3 kids. The first kid comes up and asks why is my name daisy? The mom says because when you were born a daisy fell on your head. The second kid asks their mom why is my name butterfly? The mom says because when you were born a butterfly landed on your head. Then the third kid yells ahjoejienfkef. The mom says shut up brick!
Me being Raped is like my birth certificate it doesn't expire.
why cant orphans never get a car? cause they don't have a birth certificate
All normal sized babies a delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
In america, mom births you.
In soviet russia, you birth mom.
the thing my mom birthed
What do emos use as birth control? Their personalities!
I’m rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
The Big Bang happened 16.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed there for we are all technically 16.8 billion years old so to answer your question officer yes she is of age
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labour, the doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father, they agree so the machine is used, 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not felling anything, 100%, nothing. The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
life is karma... because I was born god gifted me with socially awkwardness, $#!t athletic skills, and stupidity
When you were born, you were so ugly, that the doctors slapped your parents. 👏🏻
my sister said that i need to stop with the audited butt:
i got it from her when i was born
You’re forehead so big when you were being born the doctors thought you had no face
One day there were 3 people a mom and two kids. One of the kids walks up and asks her mom why she was named rose. Her mom told her that she ate a rose petal when she was born that is why she was named rose. Then the second child walked up and yelled ahhhhhh and the mom said shutup billy goat.
Why are the Twin tower actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same.
I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
