A flock of swallows were migrating south as a jet flew past them.
"Why was that one flying so fast?" asked one. Another answers, "Can't you see his tail is burning?"
Bird Jokes
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
A chicken is delicious.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
What do the Twin Towers and Angry Birds' pigs have in common?
They always getting hit.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
What do you call seagulls that fly over a bay? Bay-gulls.
