Bird jokes
Why do birds fly south?
Because it's too far to walk.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
My friend has glasses, and we were talking about owls, and I told my friend to give an owl glasses. I told my friend that it'd be a spectacled owl!
Yo what quacking lacking? Looking for a ducking good time? I've got some one lines and knee slappers that ought to fix the bill. What happens flied upside down? It quacks up.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
You sound like an owl.
Memes
A chicken is delicious.
What's a woodpecker's favorite kind of jokes?
Knock knock ones.
What goes boo in a car with no lips?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.
Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”
This lady has 2 parrots that only say one thing: "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?"
So she goes and tells her pastor. He responds with, "I have two parrots as well, they are always praying, and they have everything that a parrot needs to be a Christian. Maybe if we put our parrots together, mine will fix yours."
They proceed to do so, and the lady's parrots say, "Hi, we're prostitutes, wanna have some fun?" and the pastor's parrots reply with "Johnny, drop your beads and lift your heads, our prayers have been answered!"
Is that a bird? Is that a plane? It's a plane!
Why are eagles 🦅 bald?
Because they don’t wear wigs.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
What do birds and children have in common?
If you shoot them, they die.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To poo in the toilet.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.