Bigness

Bigness jokes

Man

22 views ·

I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!

Hospital

40 views ·

Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.

This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!

Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"

Baby

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.

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  • Cotton

    85 views ·

    In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.

    Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.

    Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.

    So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.

    Teacher

    28 views ·

    The teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up.

    Johnny said when he grows up he's going to be a motherfucking hustler. He's going to have a wife and live in a big house in the country with maids and butlers and drive a Rolls-Royce, and he's also going to have an apartment in the city where his side bitch is going to live. He's going to buy her expensive jewelry, whatever she wants: cars, diamonds, clothes, shoes.

    The teacher didn't know what to say, so she calls on Sally. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

    Sally said, "I want to be Johnny's bitch."

    Friend

    9 views ·

    So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

    "Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

    EDP

    57 views ·

    FREE MY ÑIGGA EDP HE INNOCENT ONCE UPON A TIME I WENT OVER TO HIS HOUSE AND HE FARTED SO GAHDAMN MUCH INTO MY MOUTH THAT I STARTED DROOLING A HERSHEY WATERFALL THIS ÑIGGA IS SO SEXY AND I LOVE WHEN HE SITS HIS FAT ASS ON TOP OF ME TYSON U JUST JEALOUS YOU AIN’T GOT NO ONE LIKE BRYANT U RETARDED LOOKING ASS BITCH I DARE YOU TO GET A PARTNER AS LOYAL AND INNOCENT AS EDP FREE MY ÑIGGA BIG HOMIE CHEESE HEAD 474747 HE INNOCENT.

    Male

    83 views ·

    Why would a Italian heterosexual male do for $100.00 if he was a prostitute that a polish american male would only do for a Klondike bar if he was a prostitute?

    suck a big cock.

    Regret

    4 views ·

    Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.

    Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.

    Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.

    The end.

    Ball

    2 views ·

    A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,

    "Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"

    She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.

    And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"

    Penis

    11 views ·

    There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."

    Boob

    37 views ·

    Knob Klondike, I want Ellen. Poobiess, please. I want big juicy pobs in me right now. Ellen girl, give milk boob to me with good Pochyy, babie.