Bigness jokes

Is Uranus big? Well... your anus is...

Your forehead is so big Mega Mind gets jealous.

My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.

What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?

"What's the big dill?"

I was at the beach today, and there was a big wave.

Somebody went, "Damn, that crashed harder than the Twin Towers." Jack may have survived the towers, but not the crash.

Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!

Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."

Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.

Me.

You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.

Yo mama is so fat, the country of Russia isn't big enough to house her!

Your forehead is so big, if you fell, you would knock out your whole state cold.

Your nose is so big that Apple had to make a custom iPhone that unlocks using Nose ID.

Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”

He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”

Yo mama so "PHAT," she has big boobs and nice legs!

I went to China and said, "I have a big cock," so they thought I said they look like a cock. Then I realized I said it in English.

A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!"

The big chimney said next to him: "Well, you're too young to smoke..."

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

I like big butts in the Kent, la la "hehehe" SUS.