Beverage jokes
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Champagne
In memory of Michael Jackson, Starbucks and various other establishments are introducing the Jackson tea. It's 50 year old water, with a 7 year old tea bag.
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.
Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.