In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
i like my coffe like i like my wamem
big tits
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
Q: What do you call a sad soda? A: Soda-pressing.
How does Jesus make tea?
Hebrews it.
Your at a buffet, you think your hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of your self, you get stuck looking at sides in the buffet, a roly poly gal you see in corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end, you go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slamed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she's is tenderizing you for dinner.
What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? -- Tequila Mockingbird.
A Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus,the bartender says "Don't you mean a Martini?"the Roman then says "Look,if I want a double I'll ask for one.
What is a cow's favorite drink?
Mountain Moo!
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!
Why people drink Starbucks because its to hot to handle!!!!
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages. One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
What is a trees favorite thing to drink. Root Beer
why does doctor pepper come in a bottle?
his wife died
I like my woman like I like my coffee: in a big sack on top of a donkey.
I like my women how i like my coffee......... HOT
Two men walked into a bar, and one man asked for H20, and the other man asked for H20 too.
Only one man came out alive.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
