Beverage jokes
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
What do you call a shake? Shake ya booty!
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Quote of the day:
Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.
[Comment your favorite fall beverage!]
What is Michael Jackson's favorite drink? Tea-hee-hee!
My mom told me to go to bed, but then I grabbed a drink and went in their room to say goodnight, and they looked like Adam and Eve on steroids!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says: "I'll have some H2O."
The second one says: "I'll have some H2O, too." And then he died.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
I went to Starbucks today and they asked what I wanted, and I replied with "to die, a shot of bleach, and an deppresso expresso."
What do an M&M and juice have in common?
Window.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
Your sister is so stupid, when she saw Mountain Dew, she went to the top of a mountain to get it.
What kind of tea is really hard to swallow? Reality.
Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.
I tried a lemonade from my friend. It tasted fantatastic!
You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.
Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.
But at least lemonade came out!
How do you call a very good lemonade?
Fantatastic!
What's a energy drink orphans never tried? "Mother".