Being jokes
Prince might be with a new girl, but he still wants Gwen, who doesn't? Other half.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Prince, stop sending me letters, poems, and memes through Gmail. We broke up, it's over!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: I know, but that new girl that I been seeing is not you! I miss you a lot! Please come back to me.
Gwen on the phone with Prince: I'm gonna hang up now!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: PLEASE DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Sorry, I can't hear you...you're breaking up...what?!
Prince on the phone with Gwen: Gwen! DO NOT HANG UP !!!!!!!!
Gwen on the phone with Prince: Okay...bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
Because he/she wanted to be wanted!
If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?
If BlessedBrian were any more two-faced, he’d be a Rubik’s Cube.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What kind of experience does a feminazi have for being a feminist?
Being a bitch.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
What is a Mexican's favorite sport??
Cross country because they don't need to be in America. Mexico was made for them.
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Maybe I’ll be Tracer.
I’m already Tracer!
There is a twist with being an orphan: every bag of chips is family sized.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He's at the hospital waiting to be seen.