Being jokes
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
If Asriel were Sans, would his theme be "Jokes and Memes"?
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
What’s the best part about being a circumcision doctor?
The pay is good and you also get to keep the tips!
Na, don't be mean to fat people. Oh wait, never mind, they can handle the weight.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Why aren’t short people allowed to be mentors?
Because you can’t look up to them.
On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
There's no Asian kids in my class, but it just happens to be the rice store and the pet store just ran out of stock...
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!