Being jokes
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.
The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?"
"Cargo." "Cargo who?"
"Cargo beep, beep, beep, be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-b!"
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
If there's a lieutenant, shouldn't there be a righttenant too? 🤔
Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."
Unknown be like: "Wah wah, I'm too scared to talk to girls in real life, so I bully random tweens I find online to make me feel better... what a shame."
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Guys, stop making jokes about orphan's parents.
Who will be told? Oh wait.
What did A say to Y?
"You cannot be alpha like me." :)
Y said, "Why? (Y)"
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.