Being jokes

Cat

    • A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

    The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

    Guess who dies next.

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    • Israel

    • How Bibi celebrates Valentine's Day:

    “I want to nutinyahu.”

    “I’d blow up a school for you.”

    “Can I be your ‘chosen person?’ 👉👈”

    “I wanna bibi inside yo pp.”

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    • Friend

    • Hi, people. I really need a friend. Can someone please be my friend? Say in comments if you will.

    Loved One

    • Your loved one dies and you call the Coroner's office. They answer, "Hello, this is Benny from the Coroner's office, you stab 'em, we slab 'em, how may I be of service?"

    Being memes

    Face

    • Roses are red, Violets are blue, A face like your's belongs in a zoo. Don't worry, I'll be there too, Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

    Jesus

    • The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

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    • Place

    • Where is the most dangerous place for a human being to be?

    In the womb of a woman who wants to abort her unborn baby. 😢

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    • Depression

    • You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

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    • Orphan

    • Kid: Imagine being an orphan!

    Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*

    Kid: WAIT, WHAT!

    Sex

    • I've been doing sex moves on myself so I can be ready when I have sex, and by far the funniest thing to do is finger my butt. I go 2 handed sometimes.

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    • Masturbation

    • Boy goes to Confession.

    Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"

    Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."

    Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"

    Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"

    -not my joke

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    • Car

    • Ah (gas, gas, gas) Ah Do you like my car? Guess you're ready 'cause I'm waiting for you. It's gonna be so exciting. Got this feeling really deep in my soul. Let's get out, I wanna go, come along, get it on. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive along 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

    Don't be lazy 'cause I'm burning for you. It's like a hot sensation. Got this power that is taking me out. Yes, I've got a crush on you, ready, now, ready, go. Gonna take my car, gonna sit in. Gonna drive alone 'til I get you, 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

    Gonna take my car, do you like my car? 'Cause I'm crazy, hot and ready, but you like it. I wanna race for you (Shall I go now?)

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna step on the gas. Tonight, I'll fly (and be your lover) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be so quick as a flash And I'll be your hero.

    Gas, gas, gas, I'm gonna run as a flash. Tonight, I'll fight (to be the winner) Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna step on the gas And you'll see the big show.

    Gas, gas, gas, Yeah, yeah, yeah Gas, gas, gas, And you'll see the big show. Ah