Being jokes
What can't orphans do?
Be homosexual because they have no home.
During this COVID shit, if a guy starts following you with the masks on, should you be scared, or is that dumb bastard just your boyfriend?
Dad: Ok kids, this selfie will just be me! *screen cracks*
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
always happens to me
Why am I so fat? When I was younger my mother said I should be the bigger person.
I'm not completely useless; I can be used as a bad example.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
Why can't an orphan ever be a criminal?
Because he isn't wanted.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They don't have a closet to come out of.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
Fat kid jumps in the pool.
The popular girl: "I thought there was going to be a tsunami."
The fat kid: "I thought trash was not supposed to be in the ocean."
Opposite day be like in doors.
Figure: Finally, I can see.
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.
Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!