Being jokes
"Me and Explain Boat (RapBoat) are going to be married tomorrow," - Explain Bear.
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
I want to be a pornstar. Even if I completely suck, they will still give me a firm raise.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
What's something you shouldn't tell a paraplegic that's being confronted by a bully?
Just walk away.
Your hairline couldn't be seen even if it was glowing.
"Did everyone see that because I will not be doing it again."
- Captain Jack Sparrow
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
What is the difference between a bag of chips and a gun?
If you pull one of them suddenly, everybody wants to be your friend.
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
My brother goes into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me 12 beers and a shot of whiskey." The bartender says, "That's a lot of alcohol." My brother says, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob." The bartender said, "Let me buy you a drink." My brother said, "No, this should be enough to get the taste out of my mouth."
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
Why was Sonic fast?
To be rolling around at the speed of sound, got places to go, gotta follow my lead.
Hi guys, I am starting a Gwen funny club. If you wanna join, then just type so here. Hope you have fun!
Oh, and also can be a Gwen name club for Gwens only!
Be papered.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
Jayden March, a name so bold, Never knew the joy of cookies untold. In a world of sugar and sweet delight, He stood apart, an unusual sight.
While others indulged in sugary bliss, Jayden abstained, dismissing the kiss Of chocolate chips and dough so divine, His willpower strong, his resolve intertwined.
No oatmeal raisin or double fudge, Could tempt his taste buds, not even a nudge. For Jayden March, a different path he took, In a world of cookies, he never partook.
His reasons unknown, a mystery untold, Perhaps he sought something purer than gold. Or maybe he craved a different kind of treat, One that couldn't be found in a cookie sheet.
But as the years passed by, curiosity grew, Whispers of wonder, questions anew. Why did Jayden March deny such delight? Was there a secret hidden in his resolute fight?
Some say he found solace in nature's embrace, In the rustle of leaves and the wind's gentle pace. Others believed his heart sought a different reward, In acts of kindness, love freely poured.
Jayden March, a man of mystery and grace, Marched to a beat only he could embrace. In a world of cookies, he found his own way, Leaving us wondering, pondering day by day.
For though he never tasted the sweetness of a treat, Jayden March's story remains incomplete. A reminder to us all, to explore and define, Our own desires, our own paths to find.
So let us celebrate Jayden's unique choice, And listen to the whisper of our own inner voice. For in a world of cookies, may we remember, That sometimes it's the journey, not the taste, we treasure.
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.