Being jokes
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
If an emo doesn't get better by Christmas, Santa's reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
If I don't get a partner for Christmas this year, mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
Why did the cow want to be an astronaut?
Because it wanted to see the Milky Way!
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common? There used to be 2, but now they're a sensitive topic...
My son wore his new "Go Vegan" Hoodie for the first time today, and already he's been verbally abused as well as being punched, kicked, & spat on!!!!
And he's not even left the house yet!!!
Wanna know the last words of the south tower?
"HAHA LOOK AT YOU! IMAGINE BEING HIT YOU L BOZO!"
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Genders are like the Twin Towers because there used to be two, now it's just a sensitive subject.
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Q: How many men does it take to open up a beer?
A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
Yo mama so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out the way.
LEGO Ninjago - I like it, okay?
Which of the ninja would be best for an undercover mission as the person in disguise?
Kai. He just has to leave his hair down and no one would know it was him. He uses hair gel, as Cole has said a couple times I think, because his hair looks like fire 🔥!
Some rules of childhood cricket:
1. Whose bat, his batting.
2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.
3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.
How is being in the military like getting a blowjob?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
I’m posting this again cuz I can and cuz it got thumbs downs and cuz I’m bored. Stop being sensitive snowflakes and get a sense of humor. Geez.
What gun isn’t allowed in Africa? A water gun.