Vital information: if you find a stray dog in an alleyway, don't stare at its eyes.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
Habit.
What's the point of sex when you're gay?
Because only gay people jerk off.
What are you doing, son? It has been an hour, and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.
Mum, actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
Q: Why do men say "ladies first?"
A: So they can look at their a**.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
A retard walks into a bar.
Bartender: Hey, retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard retard!
Thank you for listening to joke, sincerely - Jokeman87848584
Want to know how to keep an idiot in suspense???
