Bed Jokes

What is found under Michael Jacksons pillow? Billies-jeans

my ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends. so she said i was usless in bed. should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

Thomas Jefferson’s 80th b-day bash be like: Jackson: CALHOUN! YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME - IN BED WITH THE CONSTITUTION???

Knock, knock. (Whose there?) Bill Cosby. (Bill Cosby who?) Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.

Dad: no Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.

If your sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell

When younger girls say I want my period or it will not be bad

*eating chocolate in bed crying * 😂😂 My face at them when they say that 🤣🙄😵 Them I got my period *them hurting*. Me: told u

what do you call a tamal thats in a bed

tamaleto

Boyfreaind- let go to bed Girlfriend- no Boyfriend- why Girlfriend-because you want sex Boyfriend- no i dont NEXT MINUT The nan could hear banging

Good night

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So i was laying in bed and jt winter do my room is aleays cold cause the heater doesnt work. And i was thinking.... It would be warmer if someone else was laying here with me.... Then i layghed cause who would wanna be with me. Hahaha

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing minecraft all night. Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believe that at the time. But now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't