Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
Why can't orphans play soccer? Because they can't practice with their dad.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it’s a family company.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why did the CSI team have to go to the "Purple Rain" shoot?
Because they had to dust for Prince! hahaha
Why do orphans only have 363 days in a year?
Because they miss Mother’s Day and Father’s Day.
Why can’t orphans go on field trips?
Because they need a parent signature.
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
Why are koalas so cool? Because LL Cool J ama said "knock you out!"
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
Are you my pantry? Because you look like a snack ;)
Hey everyone, I'm back because I'm sinking back towards depression because my sister is really being a bitch, and my parents always side with her, and the stress over online school is just getting overwhelming, and I'm seriously considering hanging myself to end it all because the pain is just... terrible, and I feel like I'm not worth life.
Why don't Chinese kids celebrate Christmas?
Because they make the toys.
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.
Are you dead? Because you look like my dog.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?
Because for them, love isn't an open door.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
