Bat jokes
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
When you go to a baseball game and they say, "Heads up!" and you put your head up, and the ball hits you in the head.
"Piggy killed you with a bat because he is fat 0-0."
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What's an orphan's least favorite game?
Baseball because they can't find home plate.
How do you keep a blind kid entertained?
You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.
What does an Irish bowler put in his hands to guarantee a wicket next ball?
A bat.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket? Cus they always eat the bat.
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Little Johnny brought a baseball bat to school.
The teacher asked why he had one. He said, "I need it to beat up the principal!"
When the principal found out what Little Johnny had said, well, let’s just say Little Johnny didn’t need no baseball bat to kill him.
Why couldn’t the kid play baseball? Because he couldn’t find home.
Why did the orphan join the baseball team?
Because he knew when he got to third base he could head home.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
7000+ bats.
What flies around the school at night?
Alpha-bats!
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.