Bat jokes
Why was the baseball player stuck in the stadium?
'Cause he made his home run.
What is a big animal 馃? A bat 馃!
Oh my god, she hit me with a bat,
'Cause she was transgender.
What animal do you always find at a baseball game? A bat.
Luigi was dying and had two sons. Bruno was handsome, but Alberto was ugly.
He said, "Maria, tell me, is Alberto my son?"
"Yes, Luigi," his wife said, and he died happily.
Wife said, "Thank God he didn鈥檛 ask about the other one!"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! Well, pull yourself together, then.
Doctor, doctor! My brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Is he egging around? Yes, but we need to get the eggs.
Woman: Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm an elephant! Doctor: Run around the room. Then the woman stomps around the room and breaks things.
Doctor, doctor! I fell like a bell! Shall I ring you, then? When can you ring me up?
Doctor, doctor! I have a ball stuck in my throat! Shall I bat it and get a run, then?
Why doesn't Batman need Robin as a wingman?
Because he has no problem robbin' your girl.
Two female mice met and one spoke:
"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."
Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."
"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"
A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye, but when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, suddenly people lose their shit?
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
I tried making an orphan baseball team. It sucked because they couldn鈥檛 find home plate.
What's brown and hurts your teeth?
A chocolate?
No. A baseball bat in my hands.
BAD!!!!!!
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.