What is blue and wiggling on my floor? A baby in a bag
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
I lost my bag. :(
whats the grossest thing ever? A bag of dead babies whats even more gross? The bottom one is still wriggling
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag? There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What’s red and cries? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde." The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
what's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.
What do you get when u cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag A sad news story
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor
My friend was like "that's a huge sack of balls."
He didn't realise what was about to happen.
"Thats what she said"
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
What worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
"A Twix."
Someone was crushing a bag of chips i said are you making edibles
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
