Bad jokes
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
Doctor: Do you want the good news or the bad news first?
Patient: Good news!
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.
How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?
Tentacles!
Ligma.
Balls.
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
Please read all of it. I know it's long, please read all of it.
This dad heard his daughter praying. As she was praying, she came to an end: "Goodnight grandma, goodbye grandpa, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad didn't think about the grandpa part and headed to bed. The next morning, the mom and dad heard that the grandpa died. The dad thought it was just coincidence, so he carried on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye grandma, goodnight daddy, goodnight mommy." After he heard "goodbye grandma," his facial expression changed, and he went straight to bed. The next morning, the grandma died out of nowhere. The dad began to worry and continued on with his day. At night, he heard his daughter again: "Goodbye daddy, goodnight mommy." The dad got scared, so he had a plan to go to work and stay hidden there. So that's what he did. When he got home the next day, his wife asked where he had been, and he replied back, "Sorry honey, I had a horrible day today." She replied back saying: "Oh, you think you had a bad day? The mailman just died on the front porch this morning!" If you get it, you get it.
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"
Your hairline is so bad, not even God could save it.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Get in the car.
Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.
Man's friend: Same.
Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.
Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.
Man: Oh great heavens!
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Why is the US so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
What do you call a stupid turtle?
Retorted.
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
My (at the time) boyfriend told our chemistry teacher that blood is corrosive to steel.
Anyways, my sharpener isn’t working because the blade has been too badly damaged from something else...