Bad jokes
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Ads? More like bads.
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Why are the UK and the USA bad at playing chess?
Because they lost 2 towers and their queen.
Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.
Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."
Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
What do you call a pun that's bad? A bad pun.
What's so bad about 9 divided by 11?