Bad jokes
I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I would tell you a good joke, but I can’t, so here is a bad one.
I would tell you a joke about a teacher, but she’d kill you at school.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Memes
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
BAD!!!!!!
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.