Bad jokes

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know what a home looks like.

One day a son and his grandad were smoking.

Too bad only the sun was smoking. :)

Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?

A: The 9/11 victims. They went through 20 stories in seconds.

Why are orphans bad at baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

Question: What do you call 8 apples?

Answer: The iPhone 8.

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.

On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.

The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."

The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."

If I had a sister with only 1 leg... wouldn't her name be I-Lean?

"Kobe is known for fade aways too bad he faded away."

Your hairline is so bad that it turned Wonder Woman into Failure Man.

Your hairline [is] so bad it went down like the Twin Towers.

Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.

Alec is bad at League?

Jokes, Jarid is, haha!

Hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"

"You're ass heck bye."

You: What you doing?

I wonder what you’re doing because you’re bad at math, hahahahaha!

This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.

Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!

A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".

So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!