Bad jokes
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.
Why was the rapper bad at fishing?
Because he always threw back the lines!
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
(Not an orphan joke).
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they've lost 2 towers.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
Why are Chinese people bad at baseball?
Because they ate the bases.
What time is it when you say "bad day?"
I was making fun of an orphan, then I realized he tracked me down. I made a bad decision. He was Batman!
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Why are Indian people bad at Monopoly?
Because whenever they hit the corner, they build a shop.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.
A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.
My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?