Bad jokes
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Why are liberals so bad at playing hockey? Because it is played on ICE
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
This joke is so bad I don't even know what I wrote at this point.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
She keeps on running from the ball.
So, this woman woke up since she had a bad dream and was yelling about her bad dream. Then, in the bed, her husband woke up and said, "Hey! You just woke me up in a sweet dream!" She said, "Oh, sorry babe." Then she asked him what his dream was about, and he responded like, "I was with a woman; me and her was in the middle of dreamy sex; you just ruined it!" She said, "AAAAh!" He asked her what her dream was about, then she replied as, "I was trying to suck a man's penis, and a cock trying to get cummiee out of it!"
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost two towers.
Why are uncles like curries?
Because bad ones hurt your asshole.
So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.
Too bad he left him hanging.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why is an orphan bad at hide-and-seek?
Because nobody will actually look for them.
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
A bus full of ugly people is driving down the street. The bus crashes and everyone goes to heaven. They see Saint Peter, and he feels bad for them and grants them one wish before they go into heaven. The first one says, "I wish to be attractive." The second one says the same.
Meanwhile, the 3rd person in line is giggling and snickering and laughing while Saint Peter is granting wishes. Curiously, he asks why he is laughing. He says, "I was going to wish that they turned ugly again."
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
I feel bad for shopping carts. They're always being pushed around.
Maybe your butt good? Maybe bad... I'M GOING TO LAUGH!
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Summer wasn't too bad either.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He can’t get up the stairway to Heaven.
The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!