Bad jokes
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
What's the difference between what Bill Cosby did and what OJ Simpson did? OJ Simpson's victims actually suffered and I actually feel bad for them (the boyfriend at least).
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
This is so bad
Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.
Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...
I didn’t expect her to come back so early.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
If Asians are bad at driving, then was Pearl Harbor an accident?
Joke.
What made his beats so bad?
His name.
So, there's Fred and Frank. Now, they've been friends for years, but Fred, see, he's depressed. Badly.
Either way, so F+F are texting each other, and here's how it goes: (this is my first joke, so please don't judge too harshly)
Frank: Yo
Fred: Hi...
Frank: U heard about de competition?
Fred: Yeah...
Frank: You wanna hang out?
Fred: .......
Frank: What? I've got some noose (news) for you.
Fred: ...I(
Frank: Fine.... I guess we need to think of a plan, though. We don't wanna be hanging on the end.
Fred: *sigh* You know....you really can't rope me into this competition.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.
I'm glad Stephen Hawking died because he was wheely wheely bad.
Bully: I'm going to hurt you so bad.
You: Well... your IQ is the same amount of teeth I'm about to knock out, so... you're so dumb that you can't even do that.
And your IQ is 5.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!