Bad jokes
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Where did Sally go when the bomb went off?
Everywhere.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why is an orphan bad at tennis?
'Cause he couldn't get any love.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
This pun is so bad you're gonna punch me.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
People with bad past end up creating the worst future...
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"
The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"