Bad jokes
Doctor approaches a patient in Hospital and says, "I have some good news and bad news."
So the patient says, "What is the bad news?" the Doctor replies, "I have had to amputate both your legs." So the patient says, "Well, what is the good news?" The Doctor replies, "I have found someone to buy your slippers."
I pushed my best friend's chair in class. Now I kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.
Why are gay people bad at hide and seek?
Because they're always coming out of the closet.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
@ Kobe the person under my joke, your hairline is so bad that Kobe Bryant could've lived if he landed the helicopter on your forehead.
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Q: How do you see a bad joke?
A: Look in the mirror.
Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad!
- 0 tapins! - 0 assists! - 3/3 dives! - 0 key passes! - 2 big chances missed! - 1/4 dribbles! - 2 Offsides! - 27 claps!
Better than Elanga?
This joke is so bad I don't even know what I wrote at this point.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
What do you call a downy who can't get a girlfriend?
Down bad.
Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
A Chelsea fan called Timo Werner on his phone to encourage him during his bad form. Timo Werner still missed all the calls.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
Why do I tell bad jokes?
I'm a lesbian.