Bad jokes
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.
An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"
The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."
The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"
The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because no one is there for them to pass [the ball].
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
Tell me orphan jokes are a really bad joke. People are really orphans, and there is a lot of 'em, and they are all depressed. Who would make fun of depressed people? Well, those dumbass evil people!!
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
Because they're ugly and smell bad.
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
Laugh.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.