Bad jokes
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Memes
Your hairline is so bad that it looks like you have Ironman's helmet on your head.
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
Why was the rapper bad at baseball?
Because he couldn't stop DROPPING HITS.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.
What's Bin Laden's favorite flavor of crisp? Plain.
Pete: Knock, knock...
Paul: Who's there?
Pete: Boo...
Paul: Boo who?
Pete: Don't cry, it was only a joke!
Paul: I'm going to cry! It was such a bad joke!!!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
BAD!!!!!!
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.