Bad jokes
Roses are red, Larry is bad.
I'VE GOT A GUN, get in the van!
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
I know people don’t really like cat puns, but mine are PURRety good.
Did you CATch that one? No? Because you are in a bad mood? You should WISKER those feelings away. We should PAWnder ways to fix your mood. Just remember to keep CLAWing at the problem. I am glad I can help MEW.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?
To have someone to call "daddy."
You're so white that when I turn off the lights, you're a night light.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
How did Helen Keller dance? Very Bad.
How did Helen Keller draw? With her hand.
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
"Parademics are so bad, yo mama can't stop!"