Bad jokes
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Of a bad internet connection.
Say this when showing this website to someone: "You know, it's too bad this website doesn't have a homepage."
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
This is just a bad emo pickup line, lmao.
Are you Maria? 'Cause you can sure as hell count ME in!
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
A blonde crashes an airplane.
Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?
Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.
Officer: *face palms self*
Also officer: Here's your sign.
Premise 1: IF God exists, he exists.
Premise 2: If God exists, he exists.
Premise 3: IF God exists, he definitely exists.
Conclusion: Therefore he exists.
I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.
What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?
So, it was you....
If you are a big fan of me, go to the movie and I kill the bad guys. If you don't, I will be mad and I will be sonic.exe lol.
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
Why are English people bad at chess? 'Cause they lost their Queen.
Why can't the US play chess? 'Cause they lost their towers.
Your buzz cut is so bad that the bees buzz around it!
Say my name if you like "Breaking Bad."
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.