Bad jokes
"Yo mama so bad we gotta switch to yo papa."
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
What did the shirt say to the pants?
Belt.
I told my wife I needed a blood transfusion when I could not remember. She said, "Be positive too."
Bad, I am now a ghost writing this.
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
"I want to know who this fake me is! I haven't even posted or commented on anything bad or said a curse. I am very kindly asking you to stop."
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)
What's white and can't climb a tree?
A refrigerator.
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
If you thought other people’s puns are bad, well, you should sea mine.
Having survived a severe injury in my past, I'm kind of glad paramedics didn't succeed in bringing the United Healthcare CEO back.
I was suffering so bad I got delirious and thought that the nurses were putting poison in my water cup.
That CEO was so hated that one of the nurses probably WOULD have slipped him something!
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Like my daddy? Too bad you don't have one.
Papyrus: You are so lazy, Sans!
Sans: Call me what you want. I got THICK SKIN!
Papyrus: Another bad joke and I'm finished with him!!
Frisk: HAHAHA
Papyrus: We are monsters. The awfulest kind!
Sans: To mess with us takes a lot of SPINE!!!
People call me a bad person, but just the other day I saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents. I love working at the orphanage.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.