Baby

Baby jokes

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I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

What's the difference between a pair of jeans and an African baby?

A pair of jeans only has 1 fly.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

What’s the best part about putting a baby in a blender feet first?

Watching their expression change.

"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."

Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. He got invited to dinner with his neighbor. Little Johnny's dad said if he mentioned "ears" he will get a spank.

So Johnny looked in the bassinet. They were talking about the new baby. Johnny's mum said, "What beautiful eyes."

"That is great," said little Johnny, "because he will be stuffed if he needed glasses."

"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."

Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.

-Tommyinnit