Baby jokes
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
What's pink, red, and silver and bumps into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.
Mama milky?
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!
Your mum is a baby, huh? Not a little baby!
Alabama.
Every time there's a family reunion, a baby is born 9 months later.
Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents name him "Sudden Lee."
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
If your baby can unhook your bra, is it time to stop breastfeeding?
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"