Attention jokes
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.
The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."
The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.
The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.
The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"
Why don't orphans play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
Give me the most likes on this site.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.