Be careful everybodying, I have red dot on my foreheading so I can recording everybodying!
Why don’t rappers play hide and seek?
Because good rappers always STAND OUT
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I went fishing with my grandpa and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun. A black man said where are the young ones.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
Emergency is their doctor anywhere ? My mom has a few problems & those problems is that my mom has big tits, fat ass & sweet pussy that needs attention. Help anyone.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr colin, who loves making a din, he thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, that's not what everyone shows, about his life he ploughs and ploughs, about his dog bella and his relation-ship woes... mr colin, we do not care, when you speak, our minds are not there, your life you have unnecessarily shared, when we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr colin, rumbling about his exceptions, just when someone puts something in the bin, or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, but Mr Colin, drinking too much gin, will flail all his annoying attention on him, he'll push his limits, right to the rim... And just how i love flan~ Oh he's finally gone~
@DreamBlue
Help, my ADHD is so bad that not even I can focus in a concentration camp.
- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"
- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.
- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
Why are orphans always famous?
Because they say, "Go big or go home," and orphans only have one option.
Why did the orphan kill someone? Because it would make him wanted.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart Shoppers"?
Boys pants are half off
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
Same old boring ass day, until a person Parkinson's fainted and got everyone's attention. He really shook things up today.
I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
