Attention jokes

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

Nobody notices your pain, tears, struggles, but why do they notice your mistakes?

My wife treats me like God!

She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.

Attention everyone. Please look at the comments and click the link. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

READ THIS OUT LOUD:

This is this cat.

This is is cat.

This is how cat.

This is to cat.

This is keep cat.

This is an cat.

This is idiot cat.

This is a busy cat.

This is for cat.

This is forty cat this is seconds cat.

NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.

A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."

If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.

Why did the orphan scream "wolf"? Because people actually came back.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

I found out how to gain millions of followers.

Run through Africa with a bottle of water.

I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.

A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"

Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).

Sincerely, watersharky.

Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?

'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.

Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.

How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.