Schools be like "dRuGS arE BaD," then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
If you have emo grass and don't pay attention to it, it will cut itself.
Attention! Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? It's strange because they haven't said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess). Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD, I just thought further into life with their relationship. DON'T DO THAT.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
why do orphans hate smart kids?because the smart kids get there parents attention
Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.
Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?
Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!
Rope: Hey buddy! Want to hang?
Me: Maybe I can hang later...
Cock: Can I have attention from your Dad now?
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
She’s got 20 dudes in her DMs telling her she is pretty. Stand out, call her ugly.
I wasn't looking at you, your big forehead was distracting me.
"Tibia" honestly, I think the reason I’m "bonely" is because you guys don’t find my jokes "humerus."
Maybe if I played the trombone it would get people’s attention, but "tibia" honest I can’t be bothered, so just look at my "BONE-zai" tree, although my brother doesn’t really like that one, so how about a "S-pine" tree?
Hey Gwen come on let's chat! We can forget about that dumb bitch "prince" and focus on us!
Give me the most likes on this site.
Little Johnny was not paying attention in class, so the teacher told him, "Do you know what happens when you don't pay attention?"
Little Johnny said, "No, what?"
She answered, "The principal's office."
Then little Johnny said, "Hey teach, do you know what it means when you have balls on your chin?"
The teacher answered, "No, what?"
"You have a d!ck in your mouth!"
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
