Assassination jokes
I think Abraham Lincoln was gay because a guy shot from behind.
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
I couldn't imagine being Abe Lincoln, that would be mind-blowing!
Why was JFK stupid? He only had half a brain.
I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
What is white with red all over?...
JFK.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
What do you call a murderer with two butts? An assassin.
Q. What's the difference between an assassinated Healthcare CEO and Old Yeller?
A. I cried when they shot Old Yeller.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Q: What does Abraham Lincoln have in common with a poor quality pirated movie?
A: They were both shot in a theater.
I got a phone call from a guy labeled "assassin" saying my life will end soon. I seriously doubt that he w- *gunshot*
I had a JFK joke, but it went right through my head.
Some people said that JFK had big parties. Some even would say they were *mind blowing*.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?